Beer, CornBeef, Cabbage..
A Beautiful celebration of Irish Heritage..
Well, atleast thats what is was..
now its pretty much another reason to get drunk and have an excuse for waking up in some red headed strangers bed naked. Most would consider this a degradation of what St Patricks day is for. After all, dont we irishmen need a holdiay for our heritage?
This may surprise you, but i dont think we do. Atleast not like that. The last thing we need is to propigate the steryotype of the drunken beef eater. For a real idea of how we should be celibrating, how we should be enjoying eachothers company, we need to go deeper into our history. Our beer and beef fetish, though as accurate as ever, is small compared to our actual history. So, Lets start with a small intercourse with the namesake of this fine day, St Patrick.
No one that can call himself irish has not heard the story of how St Patrick Banished the snakes of ireland. i was thinking of this story today, i was astounded by it, that a man could do that! i asked myself,"How can a man, a preacher none the less, just say Get the Hell Outta Here!", to snakes and have it be effective?
What did the snakes do? did they just say,"Oh, i guess the bipeds dont want us here anymore? Honey, get the luggage, were moving!". Seriously, what happend to them here? The even bigger question is, where did they all go? Ireland is an island! what did they do? rent a boat? noahs ark maybe? Ireland is a Big Island, so in order for it to be a problem, that he would need to banish them there would have to be ALOT of bloody snakes! i mean in the millions! maybe even billions! You could not even have a pet ginny pig! the moment you steped out of the pet shop, a snake would jump up and eat it! So, St Patrick comes along and votes them off the island, and they all buy plane tickets or drown.
Does this story even make sense to you? seriously!, How in the hell can you belive this? My Lord, how stupid can you get! Seriously, if you belive this happend, and st patrick actually did this because of faith, i will come to your house with a cobra and you tell it to leave.
Now, lets look at what is really going on here shall we? From Day one according to the bible we had problems with snakes. What was the snake doing, he was telling god off, and telling adam and eve to do what they want to do! the snake made sure that god could not keep them stupid. he then proceeded to move along about his buisness, being a snake and all. the next thing you hear is, "HOLY SHIT!,Im NAKED!", then you here,"HOLY SHIT,So am I". After this, though not offically recorded in the book itself, you probably heard,"Well, since were both naked already, and I am the only man here,...eve..". Yep, Snakes taught us everything from day one,at least the fun stuff.
Now, back in St Patricks time, the snake were there, and these snakes were SEEMingly less cool then the first one. they bit people for gods sake!Why? because they pass down tradition too, and the first snake got his limbe removed because humans narked him out! thats BullShit!
But, seriously, the snake has been used as a symbol of knowledge since the times of the sumerians, where the actual origin of adam and eve started. the twisted snakes of our medical symbol the Caduceus
Twisting Knoledge of around a phalic symbol, that in this case represents mans body, with angelic wings to promote the idea of honesty and goodness.
The snake on top of the Egyptian King, King tut, his knoledge of the gods, was above him and looking down on all that are beneath him. as he himself was a god, so he had access to ALL knowlege.
and the final piece of the puzzle, two snakes, intertwined, eating each other for eternity.
what could this mean, it is a symbol of our accumulation and eternal thirst for knowledge, no matter how much knowledge we gain, there is still more that is big enough to swallow all that we know.
guess where that last piece comes from? any guesses?
thats right the Celtic knot should give it away!.
thats right, its Celtic.
Historical reports show that there is no real reason to believe that there was a snake problem in Ireland. So, If it was not about real snakes, what could that mean? Right again, he wanted to say that symbols of knowledge were bad, he wanted to banish knowledge of this.
Yes Folks, St Patrick wanted us Irishmen to stay stupid, and to calibrate him for doing this, we get drunk and fall into bed with a red headed stranger.
We desperately need to re evaluate what we are celebrating, we need to see the forest through the trees.
Well, i went on a bit of a tirade. So what after this, should we be celebrating? Well, lets just see what else just Happens to fall in the month of march shall we? the day is called, "Ostara".
also know as Ēostre.
If you read that out loud, you will see that it has a striking resemblance to another word that is also a holiday.
Easter. for Ostara, the celtic-drudic people would celebrate the first day of spring, a time that resurrects from death, due to the winter months. This day happens to be the 21st of march, Thats pretty close to the day that Good old Patrick tried to Keep Us Stupid by eliminating the teachers of the area.
Happy Pre Ostara, Drink one for me!
(NOTE: there is also no reason to feel ashamed to celibrate ostara by getting drunk and falling into bed with a red headed stranger, as long as you know why you are celibrating, and that you at least bought them a beer first.)
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