i am writing this directly to a freind, a close freind with whom i am deeply troubled for, so i will not generalize my audience here, if you read something that does not apply to you, ignore it, or wait until my next post. i post this letter here because it does quite aptly apply to the topic of this little site. i am highlighting exactly why i write this stuff, and why it bothers me so much. thank you for reading it, even though it may seem somewhat odd.
Hello GG!,
They do this in hopes to change the world and everything in it, and change everything that is wrong with it, knowing that the gods can alter it things some how, and with the simple task of asking, one can recive all, so long as they have faith that god will grant it to them.
The facts of life are few and far between, when we are young we are taught the facts of life regaurding sex, and yet you have manged to even ignore those rules, not that there is anything wrong with this, but my point is that there are very few facts about this life. infact there is only one fact, and that is the fact that we are alive.
We had a conversation the other day, one that actually shook me, and one that actually made me truly understand the depths of how far these things can go. You told me that you were catholic, which i knew, and that you were gay, which i also knew, but you told me that day that you blame god for your circumstances, and that you have come to hate him. Living with hate is not a good feeling, especially when it comes down to being something that god despises. There is no good atributes here for you, you simply believe because you believe, and that if it is true, then the relationship between you and your creator is nothing but hatred.
Hatred is like a virus, one that prevents us from dealing with each other in ways that are beneficial, when we find someone or something that we love that god happens to hate is then immanently poisoned. it is taken to a point that no life can be seen in it. trust me, you may think that you accept it, but the more you accept of it, the more issues will arise, and more hate will come forward.
You asked me what i believed in, and i told you very little, i told you this because i dont follow the same god you do, that is not a god that i would follow. the god you follow, the god that hates you, the god who is simply looking for a reason to smite you for all that he is worth; that is a bad god, and not one that is there.
it is far better to believe that the god you followed is not real than to believe that he hates you.
i know that this is not very convincing, but i do hope that you will take this at least listen to what i am telling you.
you are not a failure, you are not gods little punching bag. You are you! The only you around and if i did not think that you are worth something i would not have even alked to you.The things you have told me that you have gotten through, the times that you wanted to die alone, the times that you almost tried. where was god then? where was he? you got out of it yourself, you did it. no one else. That should say exactly how strong you really are. Ask yourself this, how many of those times would not have happened if it were not for the fact that you thought that even god hated you?
You have been through a lot of shit in your life and i am glad for your sake that in some way at some time god felt close enough to get you through them, but when it is that belief that god hates you is causing to go deeper into the problems then it is time to leave him behind.
If god were there, why did he make something that he hates? If god were there, and he loved you, why did he make you so upset?
why did he and why does he not now help you?
these are the questions that you asked me, now i ask them to you? which is more likely, that he is not there, or that he hates you?
put it this way, how many people do you know of that hate you? i can think of none that i have met, and i know that a lot of people showed up for a party that you threw. sure there are some that may not love you, but there is no one that i know of that wants to hurt you again and again like this supposed god does.
life is a river, and if you don't float down with it, you drown. that is what you are doing, you are ignoring the people who love you, and letting them slip by while you hold on to the only thing you know, God. Trust me, Its scary to let go, but ask yourself, is it really safe to hold on?
i will be waiting for your response.
you gave me this information in private so i will not post your response, no one you don't want to know will ever see this, and even if they do, i have left a lot of the details out so you will never be known,
please talk to me,
you will feel better i promise.
R
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